I'm so sorry. I hit a squirrel on my way to work this morning. I was driving (not fast), it ran out into the road and I couldn't react in time to avoid it. The noise I heard was horrible. I looked in my rear view mirror, unbelievably it ran off the street to a bushy area. I couldn't go back, what would I do? I kept driving. I am sorry and I feel horrible. Yes, it was a squirrel - but a life just the same.

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/29/07*

I am sorry that six years was too long for me to wait. You were only other person in that shit storm of a city to have plans and they were different from mine. They would have put us apart for six years; and that was more time than I could even fathom then. That Halloween, the first one we were apart, me in a new place, you left behind, I went to a party with Daniel because I liked him. It was confusing. He wasn't better than you, he was just there and you wouldn't be for such a long time, maybe not ever, really, because how could we know? I didn't believe in discussing the future then, and maybe that was a mistake. Maybe I was taking you too lightly, and I'm sorry for that too. It certainly wasn't about him. I wasn't fooled by his waxing poetic and childhood in Portugal. I had ten times more respect for your calloused hands and quiet fortitude. You never had a sob story to tell, and I don't think they make people as strong as you anymore. I never slept with him. Ever. Not even after you and I ended things over the phone. (And I'm sorry it was over the phone.) I'm sorry the next time I saw you I cried and you hugged me. And that I was so nervous to be near you again I ate the birdseed we never fed to the birds. I'm sorry I didn't give you money for the birdseed. It looked expensive. It tasted horrible.
*Read at The Apologies show on 4/6/07*

a pink balloon.

an old fashioned ice cream shop. a new friend. a different town.

there was no connection between them, except for the pink balloon.

i don't remember what color i picked out. i do remember the big mass ofcolor and light floating up until i could only squint to try and seethem.

i'm not sure how long i stared at that small, blank white card.

you could say anything.

what did i say? i said, "i'm sorry.

"for what? i don't know. for everything.

i am so attached to those two words. they are so attached to me. i'mnot sure i'll ever be able to let them go.

i could have told her anything. those were my last words. to her.

"i'm sorry."

for a split second, as i watched the plume of balloons slowly rising toeternal freedom, i felt my heart get lighter and higher. like theballoons.

those moments are rare.

i saw a pink balloon and it reminded me of her.

and that brief, rare moment i am always hoping will come back. nexttime i want to catch it and keep it in my pocket.

especially for those days when i don't see pink balloons.

I'm sorry that the same word I use about banana chocolate chip pancakes--"I love banana chocolate chip pancakes!"--is the only word I have at my disposal to describe how I feel about you.

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/31/07*