Caitlin,

I'm sorry. I don't even know where to begin. I'm sorry I built a wall between us. I'm sorry that I crawl into myself and refuse to come out. I'm sorry I'm never there when you need me. I'm sorry for every lie I've ever told you, and every truth I dared not utter. I'm sorry I disappoint you. I'm sorry I haven't been everything you want me to be. I'm sorry I betrayed your trust. I'm sorry for every other person I've ever been physical with. I'm sorry for her. I'm sorry for my insecurities, and how they manifested. I am so very sorry for every time I've killed you, for every wound I've caused. It hurts me to think about, but if I could double my pain to ease yours, I would gladly. Living without you would hollow my heart, but if it's what will make you whole again, I accept. I hope, however, that the thing that will make you whole is my love. I can be the man you deserve. I know I can.

I'm sorry.

--- Justin