i'm sorry i'm not her, i'm sorry you had to leave her and go to school, i'll never be her, i won' t argue with you i won't yell at you for no reason, i'm not the mother of your son, i'm sorry. I'm sorry i'm not a virgin either, i'm sorry that i had sex with five people in four years of my life before i met you. I don't understand why you sit there and are upset with my actions when you are the one who had a child at the age of seventeen. I don't know how to tell you how much i fear you will leave me for her one day. I know you still talk to her all sweet too. she calls you baby, what do you call her? i feel as if i'm the homewrecker, i appologize for this , even though you two were broken up way before i even met you, or so i thought. I dont' know how to tell you this enough. i think i love you, but i dont know as of lately i don't feel that love, maybe i don't, i'm doing all this apologizing but i think you should be the one apologizing to me... you should tell me you're sorry for bringing me into your chaotic life. i feel like i'm twisted and tied in knots, my stomache erks with thoughts of you leaving me for her, you leaving me for what you used to have, i just don't know if i want to do this any more, i'm sorry i truely am.

elena