I'm sorry I lied. But I was embarrassed. We went on a tour of Dundurn Castle with a group of cotton heads. We were in the cellar part of the building & my sour stomach produced a silent but deadly. My date exclaimed, lets get out of here fast, thats the worst smell I've ever experienced...I sheepishly agreed knowing full well, it was I.
*Read at The Apologies show on 4/6/07*

I also ran over a squirrel. I tried to swerve, but I was not successful. I watched it twitch in the rear view mirror. --- johnny maudlin

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/31/07*

I'm sorry for my past dating site addiction, I'm giving it all up for you. Please forgive me.

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/30/07*

I'm sorry for running down the hill so heavy on the feet in Algonquin Park a few years back.A little chipmunk ran under my foot and I squished him, he squirmed a bit first and then passed away. The German tourists behind me were digusted,gave me a "you murderer" look, picked the poor critter up with a stick and tossed it into the bush.My sorrowful nickname became, "chipmunk stomper" --- Tracey

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/30/07*

I'm sorry for being partially responsible for the death of the cat in our care at the boarding facility establishment. We let him out for exercise on the premises but couldn't get him to return to his accomodation, so we water spray gunned him out of his hiding space to get him safely back into his room for the night. He died at the Vets the next day, "cardio Myopathy" I think we may have scared him to death. Please forgive me.
*Read at The Apologies show on 4/7/07*

I'm sorry for stealing the antique sauce server adorned with a bunny when we broke up. It was your X-wife's and looks like its worth something. I didn't want you to have it because you were cheating with a woman 20 years younger than yourself from the office you work at. I will return it to your X in the New Year if I decide to become more religious. --- Tracey

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/30/07*

I'm sorry that I gave up on you. I am too self absorbed to handle your drug problem anymore. I'm sorry you were born last and never had the "family" I did...and I'm sorry you think I'm a psycho...but the truth is you're the addict with a shit life and I am a sucessful busniesswoman because I was strong enough to resist all that bullshit that you have covered yourself in. I'm sorry but you're just going to have to figure it out on your own.

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/31/07*

I REFUSE TO SAY I AM SORRY!
At the age of 65 yrs I have just now reached the age of reason and thoughtfulness.
Therefore I have 65 years of so many misdeeds, misspoke words and just plain stupid acts..
If I were to begin on my " sorries", the weight of which would place me on the ground with my nose in the dirt.
I CHOOSE INSTEAD TO MOVE FORWARD, NEVER MAKING THE SAME MISTAKE TWICE AND TO THINK BEFORE I ACT ON ANY EMOTION OR DEED.
There is no redemption for mistakes by me or soothing balm for those I have inadvertently hurt.
What goes around comes around and I think I have met all of them. --- Carrol
*Read at The Apologies show on 4/7/07*

I apologize to myself for dating those men. Those men that convinced me I couldn't live without them, that I wasn't good enough, that I was no one. I apoligize to myself for allowing that to happen, for letting one of them hit me, for not believing in myself enough to walk away in the beginning. I should have trusted my intuition. I should have listened to my friends. I am so sorry.

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/31/07*

I'm sorry I spent your engagement ring money on scotch and Julie when I found out you cheated on me.
I'm sorry I lied.
It was just on scotch.

*Read at The Apologies show on 4/5/07*

I am sorry for pushing everyone away. If it's any consolation, I am hurting for it, just like my mom always said, goddammit.
--- Elizabeth

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/31/07*

Mom, I'm so sorry I broke that pink glass bowl in 1972. I still remember how long you cried. It beloned to Grandma, you lost her when you were only 18....it was one of only a few things of hers you had left. I was so clumsy as a child and so much trouble. I want you to know it really hurt me to see you cry. It was an accident, and I was only 3 - unable to articulate a proper apology at the time - but I am so very sorry. Love, Kim
*Read at The Apologies show on 4/6/07*

I am sorry for not saying that I loved you, but you were fucking someone else so I didn't see the point.

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/29/07*

I am sorry for being so utterly and truly myself that, in fact, I wasn't really myself at all. Or was I? --- Anna-Lisa

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/29/07*

I'm sorry that I peed in your coffee, even though it was your fault for being such a douche bag.

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/29/07*

I am not sorry for hurting you, you deserve everything that is coming to you.
I am not sorry for leaving you.
I am not sorry for not loving you anymore.
I am not sorry for breaking up this family.
I am not sorry for being gay.
I am not sorry for demanding what I deserve.
I am not sorry for giving you what you deserve.
I am not sorry for being indifferent to you.
I am not sorry for being spontaneous, disorganized, extravagant, lavish etc.
I am not sorry for being me.
I am not sorry for cutting my hair.
I am not sorry for being fat.
I am not sorry for earning money.
I am not sorry for thinking of myself first.
I am not sorry for thinking of whomever I want to think of and in the order I've chosen.
I am not sorry for not going to church.
--- Cynthia

I am sorry for eating fast food more than once a month.
I am sorry for feeding my children fast food more than once a month...
*Read at The Apologies show on 4/6/07*

I am not sorry for the years I spent with you, but will be sorry for all the years to come if I stay. --- Cynthia

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/31/07*

I'm sorry I forget your birthday EVERY SINGLE YEAR.

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/29/07*

I'm sorry for accusing you of crank-calling me.

*Read at The Apologies show on 4/5/07*

I'm sorry for calling the cops on my own party. I'm sorry for pretending I was sober in front of the cops when you were the sober one.

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/30/07*

I'm sorry for drinking too much and forgetting that we slept together.

*Read at The Apologies show on 4/5/07*

I'm sorry for having brought you into that crazy family with those crazy kids.

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/31/07*

I'm sorry I hit you in the arm with my bag as I was getting off the subway this morning and you were standing in my way waiting to get on. I did it on purpose.

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/30/07*

I'm sorry I went on five dates with you, liked you, acted like I liked you, and then stopped calling you. I couldn't handle my family issues plus stress at work plus an angry email from you assuming that I hadn't called in a couple of days because I didn't like you anymore. I didn't call you even though you emailed me and demanded that I call you. I hope you are okay and I hope I never do that to anyone again, which is why I stopped online dating.

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/31/07*

I am so sorry for creating that fake e-mail of Jon Favreau's andsending it to you as if it were really him. You told me over andover how happy you were that he was writing you after all of theseyears. The charade went on for a few months and I never told you thatI was the one behind it all. I am so very sorry for that.

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/30/07*

I am sorry I haven't dumped you yet. I'm in love with someone else, and I sleep with her regularly.

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/30/07*

I'm sorry for making fun of your acting career. I should realize that being an extra in "We Are Marshall" is a big step forward. And I am sorry for not thinking your white hair and black eyebrows are sexy. --- Jim

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/29/07*

Sorry for wishing you were dead.

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/29/07*

I am sorry for selling my grandfather's ring at a pawn store and telling my family it was stolen.

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/31/07*

I'm sorry I took away your favorite squeaky toy.

*Read during The Apologies show on 3/29/07*

I'm So Sorry

Have you ever needed to say "I'm sorry" and just didn't know how - or the right moment seemed to slip away? Well, here is your chance to air your apologies. They will be read in March at the theater Under St. Mark's in NYC. They might fall on intended ears (if you're lucky / unlucky) or they may simply breathe in the night air. Regardless, you are one step closer in the right direction. So post your apologies - silly or severe. Then, one night in March, in no particular order, they will be heard.

You can submit your apology below in the comment section or email your apology to:

TheApologyBlog@gmail.com

I will Post them above.