Person 1: I'm sorry for hooking up with your other ex-girlfriend after you broke up, and being the reason why she wouldn't get back with you. I'm sorry.

Person 2: I'm sorry for hooking up with your older sister. And also you younger sister. I'm sorry.

Person 3: I'm sorry for hooking up with your bestfriend and being the reason that you are now ex-bestfriends. I'm sorry.

Person 4: I'm sorry for letting you date my ex-girlfriend, and not telling you that she was a total psycho. I did that on purpose. I hope she didn't harm you in any way when you broke up with her, and if she did, I'm sorry.

I know we live a Melrose Place life, and although I cannot control this, I am still deeply sorry!

*Read at The Apologies show on 4/7/07*