Terry, when we were both 12, you used to terrorize our neighborhood as the self-proclaimed Bully of 56th Street. Remember that? I sure do. And remember that day I'd had enough and decided to take a swing at ya to stop all the fighting? Yeah, well, I was 12 and less adept at face-punching than you were--if you'll recall, as I'm sure you do every day when you look in the mirror, instead of a nice clean pop on the cheek, I managed to just swipe your eyeball with my fingernail, leaving you with a bleeding, and very scratched cornea. I'm sorry about that, Terry. I really am. I wish to this day that I had actually clobbered you properly. It was my first punch, you see, and it's a missed opportunity that haunts me still. Seems to me that things were different after that. You calmed down a little, maybe you even moved away. I stopped noticing. But, I hope you learned your lesson that day, Terry. There were a lot of frightened little kiddies who dreaded that walk to the bus because of you and your reign of terror as the Bully of 56th Street. Anyway, I sure hope you're sorry.
*Read at The Apologies show on 4/7/07*